Yoram Yasur Izz:
Our plans in life are closely related to the people around us, feelings, thoughts, and actions. When trying to guess the actions of our relatives and loved ones, we are expecting certain behavior from them. Yoram Yasur Izz: “But expectations are not always met, and when that happens the only thing waiting for us is frustration and inevitable disappointment”.
Waiting for the result you deserve or are expecting is one thing, but to force situations and add negative thoughts and emotions is another. You can’t guess and control what other people think, how they feel and how they react to others. If your level of happiness and confidence depends on the reaction of others, you are preparing for numerous disappointments in advance. There are several ways to stop having or creating false expectations and not get frustrated if something doesn’t go as you were planning:
Yoram Yasur Izz: “Stop expecting from other people the behavior you wish to receive”.
Instead, try to be more open with others and be prepared to receive different reactions to different situations. Remember that not each person is a completely different world, but also things will never go 100% exactly like we pictured them in our minds.
Start building your own happiness and confidence according to your own convictions.
Yoram Yasur Izz: If someone does something unexpected and disappoints us, it is only because we have misconceptions about how the person should act. For example, you think your child should have high grades, but when they fail a subject you feel anger and guilt. Yoram Yasur Izz: “When you stop believing that the success of your child at school reflects you as a parent, and begin to understand that what you really strive for is to give them the best, the guilt will go away and you will no longer suffer. We can’t change other people, but we can change ourselves”.
Learn to feel and live in the present:
Yoram Yasur Izz: Don’t be angry and think well when you feel that someone did not meet your expectations again. In a split second, your mind created an indescribable amount of theories and scenarios, versions and assumptions, one worse than the other. Stop at that moment! Don’t invent things that don’t exist or are not happening. Think and evaluate the situation as if you were not involved: did you keep waiting for something and projecting your thoughts on the behavior of others? It is impossible to receive understanding and support if you’re just waiting for someone else to give them to you. The only way is to stop thinking about what they should or shouldn’t do, and allow yourself to create your own happiness.