Yoram Yasur Izz: Dealing with hypocrisy

Yoram Yasur Izz : We like authentic and direct people, the one that if they miss you they go looking for you, if they want to express it and if something bothers them they say it. Bluntly. We have always preferred the honest distances that hypocritical proximity. However, there are hypocritical people in the world. And we must learn to deal with them. Hypocrisy is the inconsistency between what is said and what is done. In a way, it is a way of hiding or repressing true desires, thoughts, and emotions to adapt to the expectations of the environment or to profit.

The 3 types of hypocrisy:

Moral duplicity. It refers to people who continually quote irreproachable motives but do not actually act according to those moral rules. For example, a person can continually talk about the importance of helping others, but when the time comes to reach out, the hand looks the other way. That person can extol values ​​such as fidelity and the importance of telling the truth but then he is unfaithful to his partner.

Double moral standards. It refers to those who are lax in judging but apply a hard-moral standard to others. For example, that person will be very angry if when a pedestrian crossing a driver does not stop but when he is behind the wheel and does the same, he will use excuses to explain why he has not stopped. It is the classic person who can see the straw in the other eye but not the beam in the eye itself.

Mortal weakness. These are people who conflict with their attitudes because of what is known as cognitive dissonance. For example, that person can talk about the importance of going to vote but on voting day does not go to the polls. In this case what fails is self-control, that person believes what he says, but at the time of putting it into practice does not have enough willpower, although he does not dare to acknowledge it publicly, so he continues to give moral lessons.

5 behaviors that denounce hypocritical people:

They are always willing to punish someone. Their “high” moral standards always point the accusatory finger against someone, and may even be willing to humiliate that person publicly. It is a compensation strategy through which they try to focus on the other so that it does not fall on their discrepancies and behaviors.

They have an aura of moral superiority. Yoram Yasur Izz: “Hypocritical people are usually halfway between narcissism and intellectual superiority. Your level of arrogance can make when you relate to them you feel like someone of lower level, immature or not good enough. These people will not hesitate to reprimand any of your actions, words, or attitudes”.

The rules never apply to them. Yoram Yasur Izz: “Rules and rules exist, but only for others. Hypocritical people believe that since they have an innate sense of law and morality, they are above the law”.

The fault is never yours, they always have an excuse at hand. Hypocritical people do not usually recognize their discrepancies and mistakes, even in the face of the evidence. These people do not apologize or acknowledge their responsibility but continually make excuses. For them, circumstances are always a mitigating factor, and mistakes are never theirs.

Do what I say, not what I do. This could be the maxim by which hypocritical people are guided. His actions almost never coincide with his speech. This is because their main motivation is to stay well and meet expectations.

Why do both hypocritical people bother us so much?

The answer, or at least part of it, comes from a study conducted at Yale University. These psychologists discovered that what bothers us most about hypocritical people is not the inconsistency between their words and actions but their moral proclamations are false and pretend to impersonate more virtuous people than they are.

In practice, we do not like hypocritical people because they disappoint us. In fact, it has been proven that we usually believe and prefer moral statements or that imply some degree of generalization to explain behaviors. For example, if a person leaves a project, we prefer the explanation “it does not make sense to spend more energy” than “I do not want to spend more energy”. That is why, when we discover the truth, we feel more defrauded and deceived.

Yoram Yasur Izz : This means that, in a certain way, we also contribute to hypocrisy lasting socially. In fact, even in certain situations it may be that we have behaved in a hypocritical way to try to give a better image of ourselves. That is why the best way to fight against hypocrisy is to be authentic and to understand that there are many contradictions within each of us. We do not need to fulfill the expectations of others nor do we have to become preachers of morality. Live and let live

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